Holding a grudge against someone can affect the cardiovascular and nervous system, according to the January 2008 issue of Mayo Clinic Women's Healthsource. During a study, people who focused on a personal grudge had elevated blood pressure and heart rates, in addition to increased muscle tension and a feeling of less control. When the participants were asked to imagine forgiving the person who hurt or harmed them, the changes dissipated and the subjects felt relaxed and more positive. Other studies have also found forgiveness to have positive effects on psychological health..

Forgiveness is defined as acknowledging pain and letting it go, along with the burden of anger and resentment. It does not mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing what happened. And it does not substitute for justice. There is also no single approach to learning how to forgive. Talking to a friend, therapist, or adviser may be helpful to sort through thoughts and feelings.

The Mayo Clinic Women's HealthSource offers four steps to learning forgiveness:

-Acknowledge the pain and anger of someone else's actions. The situation needs to be reflected upon honestly and completely.

-Recognize that in order to heal, there needs to be change.

-Find a new way to think about the person who caused the pain. What was affecting the person's life when the pain occurred? The motivation for the incident can sometimes have little to do with the person directly affected by it. For those able, this step can include saying, "I forgive you."

-Explore the emotional relief that comes with forgiving. It may also include stronger compassion for others who have had similar experiences to your own.

It has long been said that %u201Crevenge is a dish best served cold,%u201D but Mayo Clinic suggests taking it off the menu altogether in favor of another aphorism: %u201CLiving well is the best revenge.%u201D

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